Yesterday Tanya Rivero interviewed author Vicki Glembocki on ABC News talking about her brutally honest and funny memoir – The Second Nine Months: One Woman Tells the Real Truth About Becoming A Mom. Finally. Vicki breaks the new mother code of silence and talks about adapting to motherhood – beyond the pregnancy warnings of not having enough sleep and not having time to shower. She lays out the truth about the first months with the baby. She focuses on neither maternal bliss nor post partum depression but rather on the vast circumstances in between those two extremes. Vicki discusses the realization that having your baby is SO much harder than anyone told you it would be, the certainty that you’re doing everything wrong, and the struggle to balance who you were with who you’ve become.

Although I haven’t read her book, nor do I agree with all her philosophies from the interview, I have to say it is SO true. There are so many circumstances that you aren’t prepared for as a new mom. It’s nice that a mom is willing to step out there and reveal what really goes on in the mind of a new mom. From personal experience, I’ll agree that no one can really prepare you for how sleep deprived you’ll be as a new mom. Honestly, you lose all perspective on reality. Your life suddenly revolves completely around the feeding, sleeping, and eliminating of your newborn, and with less than 4 hours of sleep it’s almost impossible to maintain ‘normal’ composure. When I called my best friend in tears about my nursing struggles, she replied ‘don’t worry it gets easier, it takes about 10 weeks before you’re settled.’ When I hung up the phone, I fell into a puddle of tears just at the thought of another 10 weeks of sleepless failure as a new mom. Of course, yes it did get easier and thankfully it did not take 10 weeks, but rather at 6weeks we crossed this threshold from insane sleep deprived mommy with crying baby into successful nursing mother and baby in arms. The transition was the most joyful of my entire life but let me tell you in honesty, the 6 weeks prior to that I try not to remember.

I’d encourage you to at least read an excerpt from her book at Yesterday Tanya Rivero interviewed author Vicki Glembocki on ABC News talking about her brutally honest and funny memoir – The Second Nine Months: One Woman Tells the Real Truth About Becoming A Mom. Finally. Vicki breaks the new mother code of silence and talks about adapting to motherhood – beyond the pregnancy warnings of not having enough sleep and not having time to shower. She lays out the truth about the first months with the baby. She focuses on neither maternal bliss nor post partum depression but rather on the vast circumstances in between those two extremes. Vicki discusses the realization that having your baby is SO much harder than anyone told you it would be, the certainty that you’re doing everything wrong, and the struggle to balance who you were with who you’ve become.

Although I haven’t read her book, nor do I agree with all her philosophies from the interview, I have to say it is SO true. There are so many circumstances that you aren’t prepared for as a new mom. It’s nice that a mom is willing to step out there and reveal what really goes on in the mind of a new mom. From personal experience, I’ll agree that no one can really prepare you for how sleep deprived you’ll be as a new mom. Honestly, you lose all perspective on reality. Your life suddenly revolves completely around the feeding, sleeping, and eliminating of your newborn, and with less than 4 hours of sleep it’s almost impossible to maintain ‘normal’ composure. When I called my best friend in tears about my nursing struggles, she replied ‘don’t worry it gets easier, it takes about 10 weeks before you’re settled.’ When I hung up the phone, I fell into a puddle of tears just at the thought of another 10 weeks of sleepless failure as a new mom. Of course, yes it did get easier and thankfully it did not take 10 weeks, but rather at 6weeks we crossed this threshold from insane sleep deprived mommy with crying baby into successful nursing mother and baby in arms. The transition was the most joyful of my entire life but let me tell you in honesty, the 6 weeks prior to that I try not to remember.

I’d encourage you to at least read an excerpt from her book at http://www.vickiglembocki.com/ It is the most accurate portrayal I’ve read of the emotional life of a new mom.

It is the most accurate portrayal I’ve read of the emotional life of a new mom.

August 13, 2009

Elimination Communication.  Ever heard of it?  I hadn’t until I started wondering about potty training.  My 18-month son had been telling us for weeks every time he went pee pee, and we were wondering whether we should consider potty training.  You wouldn’t believe the enormous amount of feedback we received from others; he’s too young, it’s a waste, why bother, you could try pull-ups.  So I decided to do some research on my own and in a great book about baby signing and potty training ran across the elimination communication theory.  These are moms who believe in Diaper Free Babies.  Think you misread what I wrote? No–I said it, alright– diaper FREE babies; babies with NO diapers.  Sound crazy?  Well here’s an article I just ran across talking about the Intro to Diaper-Free Classes taught in the Bay Area.

“Local teacher, Willow Lune, explains the Elimination Communication concept, that babies are born with awareness and control of their bodily functions and the ability to communicate when they want to eliminate.  She talks about babies offering cues (grunts, wiggles, cries) and shares how cultures all over the world never use diapers.  Lune is part of a growing number of parents who potty train their babies from birth and see it as a way to save thousands of dollars, reduce landfill wastes, avoid diaper rash, and strengthen the parent-child bond.  “If you go diaper free you’ll be cleaning up a mess sometimes,” says Lune, who is also a certified practitioner of Medical Qigong (Chinese energy healing). “If you’re using diapers, you’ll be cleaning up messes all the time.”  If you’re interested in learning more you can read all about her class and teaching mechanisms HERE.  

Potty training a child before he can even crawl might seem extreme, especially in America where 95 to 99 percent of parents use disposable diapers, according to Procter & Gamble, maker of Pampers and Luvs.  While I completely agree that diaper companies are out for all they can earn–each one increasing the size of diapers that they make and developing new ‘must have’ pull-ups, swim diapers, night time jams–I can’t quite get around the concept of potty training before crawling.  Although our son was successfully potty trained at 20 months (which is remarkable, thanks to my husband’s tenacity and encouragement) I can’t imagine either diapering a 4-year-old or holding my baby over a Tupperware container to avoid diapers altogether.”

April 27, 2009

Catching up after a busy weekend I ran across this article Woman Gives Birth To Twins Right On NYC Street. Come on now – does this stuff really happen? This title is only slightly misleading, apparently she was (at least partially) in her SUV when she delivered her twins. Could they have at least transferred her inside before the second twin was born (she was just outside the hospital)? What gets me is that even though she had a spontaneous, natural delivery she is still admitted and separated from her sweet babies – I certainly hope this was medically necessary and not just ‘recommended.’

Back to unexpected birth places – it was just back in March I saw an article about a woman who gave birth in her car in front of the Kentucky State Police Station. In my own childbirth class we spent maybe 10-15 minutes (tops) on emergency birth preparation. Definitely not enough to prepare us for this type of emergency and then there are so many classes that don’t cover it at all. I remember thinking – does this really happen? This is just something that happened in the ‘old days’ right? Not only is it happening, but it seems to me that it’s happening more and more frequently.

April 26, 2009

Okay so here is the exact reason I became a childbirth educator and exactly what I hoped I could help students avoid. A local teacher in our area emailed me the following and in SHOCK I pass it on to you. With one thought: this is a real story, this is really happening and it could happen to any one of us – be aware of what your care provider is doing!

“I had a mama email me, very upset, because her care provider did a VE (vaginal examination) and stripped her membranes without telling her. Seriously? Care providers think they can just put their hand up a woman’s vagina and mess with her cervix without bothering to tell her? This really irritates me. I warn my students about this, and they don’t believe me.

And why on earth are NST’s (fetal Non-Stress Test) starting at 35 weeks? Really? I thought they were supposed to check near the end (40+ weeks) to verify placenta is working well and all – but to start doubting everyone’s health a month before baby could be born? Is this just an attempt to get as much money as possible from insurance companies? AAargh!!

I’m just really angry with the mentality shown in these cases. <irony> Care providers can do whatever they want to moms without saying anything, so of course the care provider should be trusted. And mom’s bodies are going to kill their babies if they aren’t constantly monitored. So moms can trust themselves as well. <irony> *sigh*”

April 25, 2009

Did anyone see this article? Breastfeeding May Fight Heart Attacks. Knowing I’d be interested in this for my childbirth education classes my mother in-law forwarded me this article. How awesome! Among the many benefits of breastfeeding: fewer dental cavities, higher IQ rates, fewer illnesses, reduced risk of allergies. Researchers are now expanding on their list of breastfeeding benefits for the mother. No longer are we limited to a reduced risk of breast cancer now we’ve conquered the leading cause of women: reduced risk of heart attacks. The study found that “women who had breastfed their babies for more than a year were 10 percent less likely to have had a heart attack, stroke, or developed heart disease than women who had never breastfed.”

What I enjoyed most about the article was that it discussed something few others dare to touch on – longevity of nursing. Finally a publication which discusses not just breastfeeding benefits but benefits that increase when nursing longer than 12 months. We’ve all heard the APA recommendation “exclusive breastfeeding” is advocated for “approximately the first 6 months after birth” and continuation of breastfeeding “for at least 12 months and thereafter for as long as mutually desired

Rarely do we read about their statement “there is no upper limit to the duration of breastfeeding and no evidence of psychological or developmental harm from breastfeeding into the third year of life or longer.” I think there is a general stigma that breastfeeding ends at 12 months of age and after that if you’re weird enough to want to keep breastfeeding you fall into the minority. Often condemned or mocked like that woman we heard about on CNN in January. In fact, you’ll find most of us become closet nursers (exclusively nursing at home – in many cases not even around family). Why?

Finally, here is a study that is not only praising the benefits of breastfeeding to the mother, but exclusively addressing the longevity of nursing being its greatest strength. Dr. Eleanor Bimla Schwarz’s goes so far as to say,”The longer a mother nurses her baby, the better for both of them.”

GO BF MOMS GO!

April 24, 2009

Watching the news this morning getting ready for work I heard this story: Pregnant woman, Ashley Swendson, hit by a car while running from a bear. She was approximately 5 months pregnant at the time of the incident. The extent of her injuries is unknown but she and baby are doing fine. DOW did put the bear down.

http://www.cbs4denver.com/video/?id=56220@kcnc.dayport.com

This leads me to think about a common topic – injuries during pregnancy. So often woman are fearful of continuing their previous exercise regime, thinking they could slip/fall and injury the baby in fact many women don’t even want to start exercising in fear they might injure the baby. We can all think back to that famous Gone with the Wind Scene – Scarlett falls down that magnificent staircase lands at the bottom and the fall apparently causes a miscarriage. What if I fall during pregnancy, can I injure my baby?

Your baby grows in the amniotic sac, surrounded by amniotic fluid. Amniotic fluid levels generally are about 800ml through pregnancy. This fluid cushions hard blows and jolts to your belly, protecting the baby and allows your baby to move, developing muscles. Now in the case of a rare pregnancy condition, oliohydramnios (too little amniotic fluid) the baby could be at greater risk because lower levels of amniotic fluid protect the baby in utero. For the most part that amniotic fluid will cushion minor falls. Two close friends of mind experienced minor incidence during pregnancy without negative result: one fell down a flight of stairs (tripping of the dog) and one in a roll over car accident.

Don’t worry your uterus is specifically designed to protect and keep baby safe while he grows.

April 27, 2009

Catching up after a busy weekend I ran across this article Woman Gives Birth To Twins Right On NYC Street. Come on now – does this stuff really happen? This title is only slightly misleading, apparently she was (at least partially) in her SUV when she delivered her twins. Could they have at least transferred her inside before the second twin was born – she was just outside the hospital? What gets me is that even though she had a spontaneous, natural delivery she is still admitted and separated from her sweet babies – I certainly hope this was medically necessary and not just ‘recommended.’

Back to unexpected birth places – it was just back in March I saw an article about a woman who gave birth in her car in front of the Kentucky State Police Station. In my own childbirth class we spent maybe 10-15 minutes (tops) on emergency birth preparation. Definitely not enough to prepare us for this type of emergency and then there are so many classes that don’t cover it at all. I remember thinking – does this really happen? This is just something that happened in the ‘old days’ right? Not only is it happening, but it seems to me that it’s happening more and more frequently.

Tuesday, March 12 ‘Raising Awareness for Safe Pregnancy’

Sarah Ferguson, Duchess of York, and supermodel Liya Kebede appeared on The Today Show this morning to discuss the White Ribbon Alliance – an international coalition that promotes awareness of safe pregnancy for women around the world.   Every minute a woman dies of pregnancy-related complications throughout the world. It appears that governments aren’t focused on the most important UN Millennium development goal, which currently is goal number 5: ‘maternal health.’  These women stressed the importance of supporting the White Ribbon Alliance, which aids local governments in increasing accountability in developing countries to change healthcare and provide increased maternal care.  Currently in Ethiopia, 70-80% of women are giving birth unassisted.

Perhaps I don’t agree with all of their praise of the American healthcare system – particularly related to maternal services - but as Americans it’s important that we don’t grow egocentric and that we really focus on the global issue of maternal health which at minimum requires

May 22, 2009

ABC News Clip

Yesterday Tanya Rivero interviewed author Vicki Glembocki on ABC News talking about her brutally honest and funny memoir – The Second Nine Months: One Woman Tells the Real Truth About Becoming A Mom. Finally.  Vicki breaks the new mother code of silence and talks about adapting to motherhood – beyond the pregnancy warnings of not having enough sleep and not having time to shower.  She lays out the truth about the first months with the baby.  She focuses on neither maternal bliss nor post partum depression but rather on the vast circumstances in between those two extremes.  Vicki discusses the realization that having your baby is SO much harder than anyone told you it would be, the certainty that you’re doing everything wrong, and the struggle to balance who you were with who you’ve become. 

Although I haven’t read her book, nor do I agree with all her philosophies from the interview, I have to say it is SO true.  There are so many circumstances that you aren’t prepared for as a new mom.  It’s nice that a mom is willing to step out there and reveal what really goes on in the mind of a new mom.  From personal experience, I’ll agree that no one can really prepare you for how sleep deprived you’ll be as a new mom.  Honestly, you lose all perspective on reality.  Your life suddenly revolves completely around the feeding, sleeping, and eliminating of your newborn, and with less than 4 hours of sleep it’s almost impossible to maintain ‘normal’ composure. When I called my best friend in tears about my nursing struggles, she replied ‘don’t worry it gets easier, it takes about 10 weeks before you’re settled.’ When I hung up the phone, I fell into a puddle of tears just at the thought of another 10 weeks of sleepless failure as a new mom.  Of course, yes it did get easier and thankfully it did not take 10 weeks, but rather at 6weeks we crossed this threshold from insane sleep deprived mommy with crying baby into successful nursing mother and baby in arms.  The transition was the most joyful of my entire life but let me tell you in honesty, the 6 weeks prior to that I try not to remember.

I’d encourage you to at least read an excerpt from her book at http://www.vickiglembocki.com. It is the most accurate portrayal I’ve read of the emotional life of a new mom. 

Okay so here is the exact reason I became a childbirth educator and exactly what I hoped I could help students avoid.  A local teacher in our area emailed me the following and in SHOCK I pass it on to you.  With one thought: this is a real story, this is really happening and it could happen to any one of us – be aware of what your care provider is doing!

“I had a mama email me, very upset, because her care provider did a VE and stripped her membranes without telling her. Seriously? Care providers think they can just put their hand up a woman’s vagina and mess with her cervix without bothering to tell her? This really irritates me.  I warn my students about this, and they don’t believe me.

And why on earth are NST’s starting at 35 weeks? Really? I thought they were supposed to check near the end (40+ weeks) to verify placenta is working well and all – but to start doubting everyone’s health a month before baby could be born? Is this just an attempt to get as much money as possible from insurance companies? AAargh!!

I’m just really angry with the mentality shown in these cases. <irony> Care providers can do whatever they want to moms without saying anything, so of course the care provider should be trusted. And mom’s bodies are going to kill their babies if they aren’t constantly monitored. So moms can trust themselves as well. <irony> *sigh*”